And there it is friends. I had to document this day. The day I finally got to wash my armpit after 6 weeks ha ha. Again so much excitement in my house. It was a family affair. Husband taking pictures, children standing over the shower watching me shower with comments of how I won’t smell like bad dog breath anymore and how I can give them cuddles without them blocking their noses, my sister checking in on me how it feels to get wet again. Yes, yes I know all a little weird but for those of you who know, you will get me 🙂
I stood under that shower for 20 mins enjoying the feeling of water washing over me. It was the best shower I had, had in my whole life. The small things in life we take for granted. Being able to stand under a shower with fresh cleaning running warm water. I have savored my showers ever since.
Every week at school my daughter Maria (6) has to write and share her weekend news. On the Monday following my shower; we were leaving school and she said “Mommy guess what I wrote for my weekend news?” So I thought we had started mini lifesavers that Sunday, so perhaps that is what she shared. Oh no not my little comedian of a child. She thought it was a great idea to share with the whole class and her teacher:
My mommy got to wash her boobie
Oh my hat I felt my cheeks got instantly hot and thought what on earth those children must be thinking and what the teacher must have thought about this being the most exciting news to share with everyone. But that is my Maria for you.
And so life has continued as normal. I’m back at work a few days a week, back to running around like mom’s taxi in the afternoon. Doing normal things that I was doing before. I also feel like there is this expectation of ok right thats it you are done with your treatment, you not sick anymore lets move along now.
I wont lie I still take strain and feel tired by mid day and could easily take a nap. I have to keep reminding myself of what my body has been through and how I need to take it easy, ease myself back into the normal routine of life but then there is the flip side that life has been in limbo for the last 10 months and I am chomping at the bit to get all the things I had been thinking about doing while lying sick in bed, I can do them now. I need to find a balance to it all.
The next 2 years is critical in my healing process. No more stressing, eating healthy, exercising and most importantly living in my truth.
All along I have been concerned about get Lympodema. Lymphedema is a disease process of the lymphatic system where abnormal accumulation of protein and water develop the interstitial tissue spaces of the body. Basically a swelling in the limbs, face or body. Because I had 21 lymph nodes taken out of my armpit this was very likely to happen.
I noticed the other morning while getting dressed that my arm looked a little bigger than the other, not hugely so but fatter. My sweet husband Vince said that because I had put on a little weight it was likely to look like that. But I knew that it was Lymphodema. So now I am walking around with a compression sock on my arm and verrrry verrrrry preeeeetty one. It even has a lace finish at the top. I’m not that fazed about it yet as it’s not really that bad just got to keep doing my drainage and exercises to keep it at bay.
I often wonder if I will find things to write about but this journey has brought me to some interesting cross roads and I have met some really wonderful people so I am sure there will be many stories to share still.
Looking forward to this new chapter.