Oh my word I survived, now what?????? Seems pretty simple right! You are good to go, healed up and ready to pick up the piece of your broken world and continue………………
Why did I find this part so hard? I think as one goes through this cancer journey you have the utmost support from each and every person in your life, from people you have never met but have heard your story, from the car guards in parking lots, to your daughters optometrist. Just amazing and ever so grateful for all the support received from all over.
But then there you are left standing with your own thoughts, feelings and WTF now………………………..
Yes we return to work, to being a mother, sister, brother, child, wife, husband, friend etc. etc. and try to fit back into our world.
First step to this newmal is acceptance. What is acceptance? Write it down, what does this word mean to you?
Do we need to like what we accept? Do we need to be happy with our acceptance?
Finding acceptance in who we are now and what we experience is about embracing all facets of self and of the trauma/experience. This does not mean just the positive parts but we recognize the weaknesses, limitations and shadow parts too. Through this self-acceptance we become more aware and begin to know ourselves better.
The more we resist the acceptance it is like being stuck in the mud and the more you struggle the deeper the hurt and pain will be. Acceptance is the key for self-awareness and before we are able to change. And Action can only take place through acceptance.
To help you process this self-acceptance here are some questions to ask and possibly even journal about:
- What are 10 things you are grateful for having experienced your trauma?
- What are 10 things you accept about yourself now and why?
- What has this experience taught you? List 10 things
- What do you now accept about where you currently are after you made it to the other side? List 10 things
One thing that trauma has taught me is there is no way to go around it. We have to go through it and this is where the healing begins. I know it is hard opening up the wounds you have sealed shut however to feel is to heal.
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Kin literally meaning golden and tsugi meaning repair. How does this relate to you? Your trauma has broken you, shattered your life but you made it to the other side and its now time to repair your pieces with gold. The acceptance of your beauty in the imperfection of what has happened to you is what Kintsugi speaks of. Accepting the decay, death and rebirth of your self is an important step of self-discovery, however slow it is.
Let’s celebrates the beauty of the cracks, crevices and other marks as it reminds us that we are powerful beings.
Till next time
Love who you are and be all that you are