365 Days

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my journey with Cancer. 1st December 2014 is the day I heard the shocking news that would change my life forever. Life would never be the same from that day going forward.

Almost to the day a year later I was given the all clear. My CT scan was all clear, my tumour markers were within the correct range and I had a good feel up by the doctor and he was happy with those results.

You don’t realize the weight of something you have been carrying until that weight has been lifted. To know that the treatment had worked and I kicked cancers butt.

Sitting here and remembering, going back to each step and remembering the feelings and emotions that consumed us at that time. It’s hard not to look back at this time last year and think OMW life changed forever never to go back to the way things were. Life will be different. Different from what it was and different from the rest of my family and friends.

Yes this whole year has made me think long and hard about my future, about life and about people. This journey has humbled me and made me realize how precious life is but really realize. When you are staring a disease like cancer in the face whole heaps of beliefs and thought patterns shift in such a dramatic way. Not only has this changed for me but has impacted my husband, children, family and friends. I think everyone connected to me has had a shift in some way.

Music has been something that has kept me strong. From the morning after I found out I had cancer to yesterday there are a few songs that have been my anthems. Either being played loud in our home or loud in my car. It was something that help us through it all. So I would like to share these songs with you:

Christmas this year is going to be wonderful and I really couldn’t have asked for such a blessed time. Last year was the first Christmas without my mom and I had had my first round of chemo by Christmas day. I get to truly celebrate this special day this year and so will my family.

I am eternally grateful to so many people of this journey of mine. My husband Vince who never for one moment let his fears show. For being my absolute rock through each and every step of the way. My children Keira and Maria for being the bravest little girls and just giving me unconditional love. My incredible sister Carly who not only was morning my mother but the fear she too carried that something would happen to her sister. Carly has been an unwavering pillar of strength. My family and their love and support throughout the whole year.

Alison my bestest friend for not running a mile but for being there for me even when I was at my lowest moments, for being my voice of reason and even though she were going through her own stuff she was at my side. Paulini my other bestest friend and we sometimes call her liiiiiiìiiiiiiiiiver just the love and support each and every day.

And all my friends who have given me all the encouragement through this most difficult journey.

I have had amazing doctors and nurses and I have come out on top.

What I want to say to anyone staring down the barrel of cancer treatment is yes it’s not an easy road and you are challenged on so many levels but you can get through it. With a positive mind, love, and support it can be done. Put your head down and take 1 obstacle at a time and you will conquer it.

My challenge moving forward what I have realized is to make sure I allow myself to feel the pain, sadness, and fear but not let all these emotions consume me. To live life to its absolutely fullest and love everyone unconditionally.

So on that note I have decided to end this blog on this 1 year anniversary.

It’s been one hell of a year but I have done it. I kicked cancers butt. Need to make sure I continue on my meds and that I have my regular check ups and I know I will live a healthy life.

Here’s to life and here’s to unconditional love.

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