I often wonder what my life lesson is in all of this. Why did I need to go through this? What could I possibly learn from all of this? One thing stands out more than anything else is to be grateful! Have a grateful heart for life, for our families, for our friends, for our financial situation, grateful for the love and support of our family and friends.
Stop and smell the roses and try not get caught up in this rat race we call life. Remember to give thanks to whoever it is you choose to prayer/connect with. For me its the Creator/Universe. A friend once told me to write down 3 things everyday that you are grateful for. And so I did and when I started it, it was the big things but as I progressed it was the simple things in life that I was grateful for. For instance the beautiful sunrise I watch every morning from my bed. It’s a fantastic exercise you should try it.
Having to have an MRI scan made me scared as all hell. I now know that the scan was so important as it gave us an in-depth look into both my breasts so we knew exactly what was going on. I was so nervous that my teeth were chattering, can you actually believe how pathetic I am ha ha. Again I had to face the dreaded needle which was so painful going in. I think they must have used a hose pipe today because my goodness I felt it go up through my arm (Ok well maybe not as bad at that 🙂 )
I had to lie on my stomach with my breasteses hanging between the two holes like a bunch of soggy mangos he he. “Mrs King we will ONLY be an hour” I almost choked. Only an hour, ONLY AN HOUR. Are they crazy; how on earth am I going to lie still on this bed like I am for an hour. I was so lucky as they allowed my husband to sit in the room with me at the top of the machine near my head. I was handed earphones and said they would be back in the room later on in the scan to administer the “contrast dye”.
And so we started, the noises that came out of that machine were so loud. All the different tapping noises going faster and slower and louder and softer. I felt like I was at a rave with all those sounds :). I was on that bed for what felt like the whole morning. They checked on me and said they would be in shortly to do the “contrast dye”. My saving grace was the calming voice of my husband asking every so often if I was all right and making small jokes to keep me smiling.
I heard the door open and the “contrast dye” was finally injected. “Are you ok Mrs King?” NO I WASN’T OK I WANTED THIS TO BE OVER “It will only be another 20 minutes” And click the door was closed. Through the whole process I had to take shallow breaths so during the quiet periods I had to take nice deep breaths otherwise I would have passed out. 20 minutes my butt. I was in that machine for another 30 minutes. I was having sense of humour failure…..
When I finally heard the door click and their voices fill the room, I was so relieved this was over. I was helped up into a sitting position and suddenly got vertigo from lying face down for so long. Taking deep breaths they began to take the drip needle out. Well as you all know by now I don’t do needles and along with that the sight of blood makes me feel light headed.
Slipping away from my story here to give you an example. My husband cut his foot open quiet badly once (the morning after a night away bulls party I have to add 😐 ) So by the time he made the hours trip from the south coast of Durban I was a nervous wreck, yes and there is a prime example of my brain working on over drive. I honestly thought his food would be dangling by a tendon but when he arrived there was no blood and everything seemed under control as the cut had been wrapped up with a tshirt by a friend of ours that was the Head Lifesaver back in the day. We were finally seen to and when the nurse cut the shirt off his foot the blood pumped out like a burst pipe. I felt the blood drain from my face and the nurse asked me if I needed to lie down in the room next door and they would attend to me. I obviously turned some shade of grey. Nothing that a bit of fresh air and a coke couldn’t sort out.
Sooooo back to the MRI room……………..
Something went wrong when they pulled the needle out. The blood started pouring from my vein. Down onto my thigh, soaking my designer gown, down my leg and inbetween my toes. Oh my giddy aunt WTF was happening. The vertigo I was feeling turned into a cold sweat. My grey face turned their calm demeanour into a slight panic telling me it’s fine I must worry they are sorting it out. When what felt like half my bodies blood had drained out of my arm was stopped it looked like I had been in a scene from Grey ‘ s Anatomy. I was offered wet wipes to clean it all up. I suppose if I walked out like that I may have scared the living day lights out of the next awaiting MRI victim 🙂
Generally reports take 3-4 days to compile and that would take us to yet another Monday morning. And sitting and waiting around over a weekend is just the most awful thing. But because I had made friends with the ladies from the mammogram and ultrasound side I was blessed with a text at 6pm on the Friday night to give me the very best news I could ever have hoped for “Hi Candice, we are still busy with your report but we didn’t want you to worry over the weekend. The “new lump” is nothing to worry about, nothing looks suspicious. Now relax and enjoy your weekend” The feeling of relief I felt, I felt like I had been winded but in a good way. All the tension left my body. OMW I was so happy. I was all good to go for my op on the Tuesday. Lumpectomy here we come.
Around this time the Cancer Shave-a-thon was being held around the country and in support of my fellow cancer fighters, of the people who have won their fight and for people like my amazing mother darling who lost their fight, I went to have my head sprayed. Couldn’t shave it cause there was nothing to shave sadly :). My whole family joined in and sprayed their heads. I finally got to donate my hair I had cut right in the beginning and spoke to other cancer survivors that were there.
My children are so open about cancer and often say that pink is our new colour because its for breast cancer. And are always open to wearing cancer goodies or supporting in some way. Kirsten my friends daughter swam the Midmar mile in the pink drive cozzie in support of me. We went up to Midmar to support her. After the race we went to the Pink Drive stand and bought a whole lot of goodies. My kids loved the wigs.
Cancer infiltrates your life in more ways than I could ever have imagined.